I Can't Imagine Myself Pregnant

I just realized thats how I feel. I was reading something online while researching more about this med that I am starting and all these ladies talking about being pregnant...and I realized I can't at all imagine being pregnant. I remember most about my previous pregnancies just fine but I can't see me pregnant...my older, married, financially secure and happy self....with my grown children...I can't imagine that. Maybe because it has been so long, maybe because I'm hormonal....I don't know. Just something that without warning came to me and now I am questioning why my brain is thinking about that. I'm getting excited and nervous about getting started on these meds. I'm trying to stay positive but its so hard after waiting for what seems like forever...4 years 7 months! But finally, CD 1 came yesterday and after talking to the RE, I am heading into town for the first E2 blood draw. This one will determine the dose of Menopur that I will be taking. Thank goodness that my husband is able to take some time off in the morning to take me because the snow storm today was terrible and I hate driving in it! By tomorrow afternoon I will have my E2 (estradiol)levels and dosing info. Picking up some smaller gauged needles tomorrow and then on to injections later that evening. Ready to get this show on the road! Maybe with some good ripe follies, I'll start believing that I can be pregnant and this feeling I was having was nothing but a little worry.