I have a doctors appointment for tomorrow. I'm asking the doctor to put me on BCP. I'm struggling so much with not knowing when or if I ovulate, that I need to have a guarantee. BCP will keep me from getting pregnant, so that I can continue the treatments and not worry about hurting the pregnancy. I plan to ask him for two months of pills then continuing the treatments to unblock my tubes. After that, then we'll try again for two months. If nothing by April, I'll ask for another hsg to be done to check the tubes.
Tonight, I just heard the greatest information ever. There is an IVF trial in Seattle that is ongoing. They are using the same meds I used during my last IVF protocol: Menopur and Bravelle. I emailed off the clinical director for more information. I am praying that they still have openings! I want to get started now!!! If all goes well, I could be doing cycle #2 in a couple months! Hope to get more information really soon!
So, I am still going to go see my doctor tomorrow for the pills. I will bring all the IVF stuff up to him and see what he thinks. I will also be holding off to start the pills til I learn more about these trials. Oh, my...I hope this is gonna happen for us!!!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Holidays...Happy and not So...
Been at my in-laws for the last 5 days for Thanksgiving. Its been a great time...3 turkey dinners with 3 different parts of the family, my mother-in-laws 50th birthday party and loads of dancing...and a GREAT way to keep my mind off of all this TTC crap. But, now that the weekend is coming to a close, I am yet again thinking about all the craziness in my world of TTC. Two friends got BFPs this weekend, and then both turned out to be not pregnant after so long of trying. Its just so heart breaking! One friend went into labor and delivered the most precious little angel. And I am so happy and excited for her. It gives me the hopes that one day...I will get my wish too!
And then there's what's going on with me...nothing! I am CD38 and I have not idea if I really ovulated on the 4th like I had though. Still no AF. Nausea still present but very faint lately, maybe just because I have been so busy and haven't thought about it much. But, no matter how many symptoms I think I have, the test on Wednesday was BFN. I'm guessing that it is still that...and I am really trying not to read into it any more. I have also taken a break with temping this weekend. Last one I took was Wednesday and it was coming back up after a BIG drop. I will start again tomorrow morning after a nice long sleep in my own bed!
Then, I think I might test once more to insure BFN and then back to massages and my Red Clover. Its been a long annovulatory month, and even though I was planning on getting back into the therapies a couple weeks ago, all the symptoms I was having kept me from it. Had to be sure, ya know. So...now we await the morning temp...and the long 6 hour drive home! Maybe we'll have SNOW!
And then there's what's going on with me...nothing! I am CD38 and I have not idea if I really ovulated on the 4th like I had though. Still no AF. Nausea still present but very faint lately, maybe just because I have been so busy and haven't thought about it much. But, no matter how many symptoms I think I have, the test on Wednesday was BFN. I'm guessing that it is still that...and I am really trying not to read into it any more. I have also taken a break with temping this weekend. Last one I took was Wednesday and it was coming back up after a BIG drop. I will start again tomorrow morning after a nice long sleep in my own bed!
Then, I think I might test once more to insure BFN and then back to massages and my Red Clover. Its been a long annovulatory month, and even though I was planning on getting back into the therapies a couple weeks ago, all the symptoms I was having kept me from it. Had to be sure, ya know. So...now we await the morning temp...and the long 6 hour drive home! Maybe we'll have SNOW!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Yoga to Relieve Adhesions
Just found this information about certain yoga poses that are good for loosening adhesions in the abdomen. I started looking for this info after yoga on Tuesday. I have been feeling a stretching of my reproductive organs recently during yoga. After my TR, I felt tugging and pulling. Twinges of pain would stop me in my tracks, but they only lasted for a very short period of time. That was the adhesions forming and twisting my tubes. Now, the feeling is of relief. I don't feel those twinges of pain anymore. So...thought I would share what I have found...
Side Twists
Sit on the floor with your legs straight out in front of you. Tuck your right leg in so that your heel touches your butt with foot still flat on floor. Cross your left leg over your right. The outside of your left foot should be touching your right outer thigh. Gently and slowly turn your body to the left and put your right elbow on the outside of your left knee. Put your left hand on the floor for balance and look over your left shoulder. Breathe deeply throughout the move. Hold this position for up to 30 seconds, then slowly release and repeat to the other side. This exercise can help provide relief from the pain associated with abdominal scars and may loosen existing scar tissue.
Pelvic Tilt/Bridge Pose
Lie on your back with your feet flat on the floor and slowly lift your pelvis up toward the ceiling. Your hips should leave the floor while your shoulders stay flat against the floor. Hold at the top of the move for up to 15 seconds, then slowly release to the starting position. Do three to five repetitions. This stretch can help alleviate the pain caused by the adhesions and may help to loosen the scar tissue.
Cat/Cow Stretch
Start this move on your hands and knees, with your back straight and your pelvis tucked in. Slowly arch your back and tuck your chin to your chest. This makes the cat portion of the stretch. Hold this for 10 seconds, then slowly release and continue to relax your back until it makes a U shape, which creates the cow portion of the stretch. Your eyes should look forward and slightly up during this move. Hold it for 10 seconds and then release. Do three repetitions of the cat-cow stretch. This exercise works the muscles in the torso and helps to alleviate pain caused by adhesions. Scar tissue may be released with this stretch.
Hope this helps someone!!! On a side note...I have been doing yoga Tuesdays and Thursdays for an hour and a half every week since late September. As of Tuesday night, I have lost 12 pounds! I am not doing any other workouts currently...just yoga. I love it!
Side Twists
Sit on the floor with your legs straight out in front of you. Tuck your right leg in so that your heel touches your butt with foot still flat on floor. Cross your left leg over your right. The outside of your left foot should be touching your right outer thigh. Gently and slowly turn your body to the left and put your right elbow on the outside of your left knee. Put your left hand on the floor for balance and look over your left shoulder. Breathe deeply throughout the move. Hold this position for up to 30 seconds, then slowly release and repeat to the other side. This exercise can help provide relief from the pain associated with abdominal scars and may loosen existing scar tissue.
Pelvic Tilt/Bridge Pose
Lie on your back with your feet flat on the floor and slowly lift your pelvis up toward the ceiling. Your hips should leave the floor while your shoulders stay flat against the floor. Hold at the top of the move for up to 15 seconds, then slowly release to the starting position. Do three to five repetitions. This stretch can help alleviate the pain caused by the adhesions and may help to loosen the scar tissue.
Cat/Cow Stretch
Start this move on your hands and knees, with your back straight and your pelvis tucked in. Slowly arch your back and tuck your chin to your chest. This makes the cat portion of the stretch. Hold this for 10 seconds, then slowly release and continue to relax your back until it makes a U shape, which creates the cow portion of the stretch. Your eyes should look forward and slightly up during this move. Hold it for 10 seconds and then release. Do three repetitions of the cat-cow stretch. This exercise works the muscles in the torso and helps to alleviate pain caused by adhesions. Scar tissue may be released with this stretch.
Hope this helps someone!!! On a side note...I have been doing yoga Tuesdays and Thursdays for an hour and a half every week since late September. As of Tuesday night, I have lost 12 pounds! I am not doing any other workouts currently...just yoga. I love it!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Annovulatory :(
I am so frustrated! I am so sure that I didn't O this month, and with my temps looking the way they do, there really is no doubt in my mind.
BUT...I have been nauseaus the last few days and have a full feeling and a dull cramping in my belly. It defiantely doesn't feel like AF, but who knows. IF I O'd when I thought originally that I did (on Nov 4th), AF would be due tomorrow. Not going to test, but boy is it hard not to hope!
BUT...I have been nauseaus the last few days and have a full feeling and a dull cramping in my belly. It defiantely doesn't feel like AF, but who knows. IF I O'd when I thought originally that I did (on Nov 4th), AF would be due tomorrow. Not going to test, but boy is it hard not to hope!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
It's Over
Well, I have decided that I am officially not TTC any more...for a while. For some time, I have known that I don't ovulate, at least not without Clomid or another fertility med to push me along. So, after weeks of not doing treatment because I thought I ovulated, I decided that I am just going to push the treatments full force!
It is suggested that you dont do the massage and drink the Red Clover tea after O until after AF, as to not cause m/c or not allow for implantation. No O...means no reason to stop! So onward...at full speed. I started back with the tea today. Tomorrow will be first day of massages again.
I need to make time to call the Doctor I met the other day, so that we can set a time for coming up with a game plan. I want to really use this time to really focus on healing and not so much on trying to have a baby. Still haven't decided if I will stop temping or not, since I am addicted to it!!! LOL
Depending on how "life" happens in the next couple of months with some recent issues, I'll request another hsg in February or March and then if cleared out...back to TTC. Here's to March!!!!
It is suggested that you dont do the massage and drink the Red Clover tea after O until after AF, as to not cause m/c or not allow for implantation. No O...means no reason to stop! So onward...at full speed. I started back with the tea today. Tomorrow will be first day of massages again.
I need to make time to call the Doctor I met the other day, so that we can set a time for coming up with a game plan. I want to really use this time to really focus on healing and not so much on trying to have a baby. Still haven't decided if I will stop temping or not, since I am addicted to it!!! LOL
Depending on how "life" happens in the next couple of months with some recent issues, I'll request another hsg in February or March and then if cleared out...back to TTC. Here's to March!!!!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Just One of Those Nights
It all started when I melted a hat that I have been working on for a customer of mine. Then, slipping and slipping, and I can't pull myself out. I hate it when I get in these random funks I get in to. This time...without Clomid!
Just feeling really lost. I know I want to continue with treatments. I know I want a baby. But I am so beaten. I just don't know sometimes how to keep going. I try to be strong, but most days I feel I am being strong for everyone else. I wish I could just curl up in bed and sleep...all day long. To give in to this pressure, of being super woman.
I know I am not pregnant. I can tell 100% by my temps. I am sure that this cycle is annovulatory, again. I just can't ovulate on my own without meds. Yet, even though I know this, I am nauseaus every day for the last 5 days. My sense of smell is intense. I smelled the wine at church from 15 feet away and fast food restaurants have been killing me! But my temps, are so all over the place. I know what it means, but with the fact that my body is screwing with me, it is hard to believe my brain when it tells me ...I AM NOT PREGNANT!
Just want to start my treatments again that I can't do after ovulation. If I am not post-O then there is no reason to wait! But I SO don't want to ruin my chances...in case I did O. What to do? What to do? I guess all I can do tonight is go to bed. Tomorrow is another day, a better day!
Just feeling really lost. I know I want to continue with treatments. I know I want a baby. But I am so beaten. I just don't know sometimes how to keep going. I try to be strong, but most days I feel I am being strong for everyone else. I wish I could just curl up in bed and sleep...all day long. To give in to this pressure, of being super woman.
I know I am not pregnant. I can tell 100% by my temps. I am sure that this cycle is annovulatory, again. I just can't ovulate on my own without meds. Yet, even though I know this, I am nauseaus every day for the last 5 days. My sense of smell is intense. I smelled the wine at church from 15 feet away and fast food restaurants have been killing me! But my temps, are so all over the place. I know what it means, but with the fact that my body is screwing with me, it is hard to believe my brain when it tells me ...I AM NOT PREGNANT!
Just want to start my treatments again that I can't do after ovulation. If I am not post-O then there is no reason to wait! But I SO don't want to ruin my chances...in case I did O. What to do? What to do? I guess all I can do tonight is go to bed. Tomorrow is another day, a better day!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
What the Heck?!?!
I could have sworn that I ovulated on the 4th but I have been second guessing myself all day today and think that today might actually be O day! My temp dropped big time this morning...and I have been cramping on my right side all day...and then tonight, on the left too. Maybe I am dropping two!!! We'll know for sure tomorrow morning if my temps spike up again! Here is where we are today...
On to another day! Wish I knew for sure what was going on...cuz I was thinking I was 9DPO and if today really is O day, then I missed out on 9 days of treatments! We shall see!
On to another day! Wish I knew for sure what was going on...cuz I was thinking I was 9DPO and if today really is O day, then I missed out on 9 days of treatments! We shall see!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
And tears fall...
Was just watching "Bones" with my husband and at the end, I just broke into tears! I want a baby so badly and can not wait to see my husband's face light up when he sees our baby on ultrasound for the first time. On the show, Bones shows Booth the ultrasound video of their daughter and he just lights up. That, more than anything, is why I want another child.
I love my four children SO much, but I feel so empty without this mystery baby. My eldest, K, was born two months after I split with her sperm donor. He had been unfaithful in our relationship, so I left. He was never into the pregnancy; I was on my own from the beginning, so leaving him was simple. My middle daughter, T, came to be on one of the two occassions that I was with her father. We were never together during my pregnancy. I became pregnant with my youngest daughter, I, after I was drugged at a bar and forced into sex by a man who I knew. And lastly, my son, is not biologically related to my husband or myself.
I missed out on so much during my pregnancies. I never got to experience the joys shared between a mother and father when they are having a baby. I want those silly moments: telling him "Its positive!", hearing the heartbeat for the first time, ultrasound, finding out baby's sex, first kicks, and of course...birth! I want someone to share them with. I crave it. Yes, I want a baby. I can't wait to cuddle this little angel that I want so badly, but more than the physical bundle of joy...I want the emotional connection that can only be shared by two people, in love, who just created a life.
I feel that I will implode without it! It becomes harder and harder to grasp every day, that a baby won't happen for me. But I hope and pray and try to keep the faith that one day, my dreams will come true!
This morning my temp spiked back up...if it stays up tomorrow, I would say its triphasic. I have been nauseaus for three days, but I know way to early for "real" morning sickness to even be there. I am sure its all in my brain but one can hope.
I love my four children SO much, but I feel so empty without this mystery baby. My eldest, K, was born two months after I split with her sperm donor. He had been unfaithful in our relationship, so I left. He was never into the pregnancy; I was on my own from the beginning, so leaving him was simple. My middle daughter, T, came to be on one of the two occassions that I was with her father. We were never together during my pregnancy. I became pregnant with my youngest daughter, I, after I was drugged at a bar and forced into sex by a man who I knew. And lastly, my son, is not biologically related to my husband or myself.
I missed out on so much during my pregnancies. I never got to experience the joys shared between a mother and father when they are having a baby. I want those silly moments: telling him "Its positive!", hearing the heartbeat for the first time, ultrasound, finding out baby's sex, first kicks, and of course...birth! I want someone to share them with. I crave it. Yes, I want a baby. I can't wait to cuddle this little angel that I want so badly, but more than the physical bundle of joy...I want the emotional connection that can only be shared by two people, in love, who just created a life.
I feel that I will implode without it! It becomes harder and harder to grasp every day, that a baby won't happen for me. But I hope and pray and try to keep the faith that one day, my dreams will come true!
This morning my temp spiked back up...if it stays up tomorrow, I would say its triphasic. I have been nauseaus for three days, but I know way to early for "real" morning sickness to even be there. I am sure its all in my brain but one can hope.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Good news this Veteran's Day
I was at the Veteran's Day parade today with my DH and I met this amazingly nice old vet. He was telling me about his job while he was in the service. He worked at Walter Reed and dealt with infertility and pain management for AF cramps and such. I asked him if he had any suggestions on how to help open up tubes that are blocked with adhesions and for correcting twisted tubes and tilted uterus. He told me to call him next week and we'll set an appointment to come up with a game plan. I am so excited! Best news...is he is not charging me anything for the duration of the treatment!!! I am so excited to hear what he suggests!!!
On another note, I am an avid temp taker. Every morning at 6:30. Normally I don't O on my own, but this month I was sure that I ovulated on the 4th even though FF isn't saying I have O'd yet. So look what happened today!
A dip at 7DPO! Please, PLEASE let this be good news!!!! I have felt very good about this cycle. I have lost 11 pounds since I learned of the blockage. I have done the massages, drank the Red Clover tea, done the castor oil packs. Been doing yoga to lessen stress and I have actually felt my tubes stretching out, which I am hoping is them untwisting! I know, the chances are still slim, but I feel really good!
P.S. Thank you to all the men and women of our Military! As a military wife, I also want to thank all the other spouses out there! You are some amazingly strong people...just like your soldiers!
On another note, I am an avid temp taker. Every morning at 6:30. Normally I don't O on my own, but this month I was sure that I ovulated on the 4th even though FF isn't saying I have O'd yet. So look what happened today!
A dip at 7DPO! Please, PLEASE let this be good news!!!! I have felt very good about this cycle. I have lost 11 pounds since I learned of the blockage. I have done the massages, drank the Red Clover tea, done the castor oil packs. Been doing yoga to lessen stress and I have actually felt my tubes stretching out, which I am hoping is them untwisting! I know, the chances are still slim, but I feel really good!
P.S. Thank you to all the men and women of our Military! As a military wife, I also want to thank all the other spouses out there! You are some amazingly strong people...just like your soldiers!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)