Had a very productive day...thank goodness. I needed something to keep my mind off of things. Did a massage first thing this morning. My tubes are SO tender! The more I do these massages, the more I am noticing about myself. I can pinpoint exactly where my ovaries and tubes are. I can feel the adhesions. It is the craziest thing ever! I'm trying to find the spot where my left tube is twisted. Still haven't found it yet, but I'm pretty sure I will either find it soon or it will go away before I find it.

Still temping every morning and still...no Ovulation! I am shocked that I didn't O since it was a Clomid cycle. Surgery must have messed with me. Funny thing...temps are lower than my temps before surgery, which just isn't normal at all for me.



Worked on the farm tonight. Haunted maze is almost finished and will be opening on Friday night! While we were out there, I found some red clovers. Planning to gather all the flowers and leaves to make me a tea. Should be enough for about 6 glasses...so not a ton, but enough to make some fresh! Been using the tea bags for about a week now. I love it. Hope its working its magic!

Also did another pack. My husband thinks I'm insane when I do them. I figure, heck, try it all. Something is bound to work!

Rough day!

Really feeling it tonight! I just can't seem to get over it. Two weeks ago today, we got the bad news that my tubal reversal surgery was unsuccessful. My tubes are completely blocked by scar tissue. So crazy how at 9am my husband and I were laughing about how pissed his Mom would be that we didn't tell her about the reversal. I told him that when we get pregnant, she'll be too excited to be mad at us. Then at 11am, we're getting the news that our dreams of a baby won't be happening. How things can change in the blink of an eye.



That's the pictures from my surgery two weeks ago. From what my Doctor says, everything looks perfect but that scar tissue has sealed up the inside of the tube. So now...the fight is on to find a natural way of opening them back up.

Today has just been another one of them days. Ya know, the ones where everything you see or hear triggers that bad memory and then on goes the waterworks. My dear friend, A, is going thru a miscarriage right now. Missing the child that she will never get to hold. For her it was ectopic and she had to take medicine to remove the pregnancy. I couldn't imagine having to do that! My heart breaks for her. I wish there were words to say that would make it all better, but when I went thru my miscarriage 15 years ago, I didn't even know I was pregnant. Its even harder to find the words to tell her just how hurt I am for her when my heart is breaking too. Chances are I'll never get to carry another child in my belly. I just don't get why things like this happen to good people! Sometimes I just wanna scream how it is not fair....but then that stupid phrase "Life's not fair" pops into my head. Really?!? But it still sucks!

Another pack tonight and a quick 15 minute massage. Trying to find a spa here that offers them so I can get a good one done. I think some how I am doing it wrong even though I am following all the directions. Constipation is not my friend, but I think somehow the massages are to blame. I hope not because I don't want to stop them! I want results!!! Today!!!

Brilliant!

Just got home from working on the haunted maze and now I am doing my 2nd Castor Oil pack. I had gotten my daughter a body massager with heat for her birthday. Decided to try using the heat tonight for the pack but it wouldnt work without the massage on. So, I am now getting a massage and a pack at the same time! There are two massagers right around my ovaries...and it feels AMAZING!

Busy days make for busy minds!

Been a busy day at work today so I haven't done a massage yet. Only did one yesterday (15 minutes). The left side was a little tender, I'm guessing that is where my big problems are. There was a small area on the right that was painful too. Going to do a pack and massage tonight when I get home from the farm! Its the farm's 10th annual pumpkin patch and this year is the first ever Haunted Corn maze! We're decorating it tonight. Its nice to be so busy lately. Keeps my mind off of how much my heart is hurting!

My First Massage/Castor Oil Pack

Did my first self massage yesterday. It felt so good and was quite relaxing. Tightness and tenderness on the left side, not so much on the right. It was really interesting being able to feel everything in there. I could tell where my ovaries were. I could also feel my large intestine...very prominent. When I passed over it, I could even feel where the stool was in the intestine! Can't say I've ever experienced that before!

Prior to the massage, I did a Castor Oil pack. Castor Oil is actually a laxative when taken internally, but when used externally it can break up toxins in your abdomin and helps in releasing these toxins from your system. To do a pack...you soak a small cloth (sized to fit over your abdomin below your navel) with the oil. Then place it on your belly, cover with plastic (I use a trash can liner) then place a hot water bottle or heating pad on top. I don't have a heating pad or hot water bottle...so I heat a towel up in the dryer and then roll it up and use that. I throw a second towel the dryer so that I can switch them out mid way. Do this for 60to 90 minutes. I am starting with 60 minutes because...trust me, sitting there that long is kinda difficult! I followed the pack with the massage and used the excess oil to do the massage. Do this 3-5 times per week. I'm planning to do it every other day.

No instant result for me yet that I can think of. Going to do another 15 minute massage this morning and then again this evening. Hopefully I will see something tomorrow...but I think it is still to early!

Self Fertility Massage

Couldn't tell ya how I stumbled across it, but somehow I heard about Fertility Massage. From what I read, it can loosen up the adhesions that are blocking my tubes and could possibly open them enough to work.

A little about adhesions...An adhesion is a band of scar tissue that binds 2 parts of your tissue together when they should remain apart. Adhesions may appear as thin sheets of tissue similar to plastic wrap or as thick fibrous bands. Abdominal adhesions are a common complication of surgery, occurring in up to 93% of people who undergo abdominal or pelvic surgery. Pelvic adhesions may involve any organ within the pelvis, such as the uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, or bladder, and usually occur after surgery. Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) results from an infection (usually a sexually transmitted disease) that frequently leads to adhesions within the fallopian tubes. A woman's eggs pass through her fallopian tubes into her uterus for reproduction. Fallopian adhesions can lead to infertility and increased incidence of ectopic pregnancy in which a fetus develops outside the uterus.

Now that we know a little more about adhesions, lets talk about massage. There are some very important specifics that you must remember before performing the massage. 1. Don't be to aggressive! Your insides are fragile! If it hurts stop, or at least lessen your pressure. 2. Always move in a clockwise pattern. If you do not move clockwise, you can cause your intestines and bowel to become blocked. Bad mojo! 3. Don't give up if you don't get immediate results. This massage is meant to deliver results over a period of time. 6 weeks to 3 or 4 months. This massage can be done every day for 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening. But the BIGGEST thing you should remember, Do NOT perform this massage after ovulation until after your period is finished. So...use only from after your period up to ovulation. This is SO important because doing it during the "no" time can cause you to not become pregnant...and that just defeats the whole purpose!

I'll post later on details about how to do this massage.

My story...the nutshell version

Infertility: the state of being unable to produce offspring; in a woman it is an inability to conceive; in a man it is an inability to impregnate.

WOW. So much pain felt in one word. If you are facing infertility, you know what I mean. It breaks your heart. It can break your marriage. Heck, it can break you!

I suffer from infertility. Because of a quick decision I made when I was a 24 year old kid, I ruined my chances of conceiving. In 2001, I had my tubes tied after the birth of my third unplanned pregnancy. I was a single mother, with 3 babies and didn't know what to do. Getting my tubes tied seemed like the only logical thing. So, that's what I did.

Years later, I met the most amazing man. He has no biological children but has loved my children and raised them as if they were. We decided in 2008 that we'd try IVF. It took us a long time to get to that point...test after test after test! In October 09 we started our IVF cycle. One day, I'll tell the story. After that failed we decided to try a tubal reversal. We had our surgery in January 2011. And have recently learned that both tubes are again blocked. Our chances of conceiving are now very minimal...if not extinct.

I started this blog as a way of keeping track of the things that I am trying in order to raise my chances of conceiving. With luck and prayers, I will one day have another baby. And hopefully, by sharing this, someone else might be helped by the information too.