Emotional Night! 1-11-13

I'm having a rough night. Tomorrow is my 2 year anniversary of my surgery. I'm 20DPO. 6 days late. Tested BFN on Tuesday. Zero AF symptoms. For the last few days, I have had a constant very dull pressure behind my pelvic bone, right around my zipper. Thats the only thing I feel. Been sick for a couple weeks now, can't sleep at night, really moody (teary) and killer headaches all week. 24 freakin months! 17 cycles which would have been less if it wasn't for 8 months of Clomid. I don't know what the hell is happening to me and I'm just a wreck! I'm sick of being broken!

13DPO testing

Went to the store to pick up some tests last night in the middle of a blizzard. Upstate NY was getting pounded with the nasty white stuff! We got about 2 inches the first hour! About 5 inches last night to add to our 2 feet that is already on the ground. Came home with four tests. Hope by the last one, I've got a bright BFP!!! Got up this morning with my temp jumping up again, over 97 which it hasn't been much this LP. My chart has been screwy ALL cycle.

Tested with FMU. Walked out of the room so I didn't sit "watching my pot boil". Went back in about 3 minutes later and there was a faint line, but the test still had traces of pink thru out it, so I waited a little longer. Went back in a bit later and I swear there was a line! Honestly I think it is an evap line, but not sure. Posted it on 3 boards and the concensus is that its a BFP but I still don't want to believe it because I want it to pop up instantly...LOL Cuz thats going to happen this early. Well, I'll be testing in the morning again. Praying its so much darker!!!

What do ya think???

Got My Meds

Just got home from a great weekend away! Spent a few days in Pittsburgh to watch my favorite football team play their rivals, the Browns. Steelers won! Great game...I lost my voice! Came home to a package with my meds in it! Don't think we'll be starting it in January though if my cycle is early to start from ovulating so early. My husband is being sent off for training prior to his deploying and he'll be gone for 3 weeks. That would fall where I am ovulating a week before he gets home :( So, its a no go for that month anyway. Got all the syringes the other day. HUGE 1.5in 18 gauge needles! I am not looking forward to those in my hip every day. I'm still trying to get my hands on some insulin syringes so that I can just do the shot in my belly like the last time (when we went thru IVF). I got 10 bottles of Menopur, 75iu each and 10,000iu of the trigger shot. Now...hoping I never have to use them!!!

I want to be pregnant this month so badly! My husband leaves on January 6th and AF is due on the 5th. I'm currently 9DPO and I think I might test tomorrow. Hoping to have a nice present for the new year and my birthday!!! Plus, if I were to be pregnant this month, I would be due mid September which would mean that my husband would be there for the birth!!! That would be the greatest present ever! I want him there more than anything! So...one more sleep tonight then fingers crossed for a fabulous start to 2013!!!

Low Temps and 6DPO Dip

Pretty sure I know exactly when O was this month even though my chart is all screwy and not registering O at all. CD 13. Saturday we were on the road all day, to and from Buffalo NY in the middle of a snow storm. The cramping was coming on since early Friday and the pain on Saturday was pretty strong. I had the dip in temp on Friday which is typical for me on the day before O so with all that, I am pretty sure O really did happen on Saturday. :) Since most of the pain was on the right, I am worried that O was on the right...the blocked side. But there was some cramping in the left too, so maybe BOTH sides! The temps pre-O were rather high. Higher than my normal pre-O temps, then big drop day before O. LP temps are very low...in the area of my normal pre-O temps. I'm slightly worried that means low progesterone. Since this was a not scheduled Clomid cycle, I dont have things planned for a Progesterone blood test. We'll see how that pans out if I get a positive test.

Today is CD 6 and its about 2pm and I finally just realized that the low temp I got this morning was a mid-LP dip! Praying this is good news! Especially since my husband is going to be gone for 3 weeks in January and since I ovulated much earlier than normal, we'll miss O next month. So, if nothing this month, injections will be put on hold til February. Another one of those "wait and see" moments! Finishing up with the Christmas holiday and then back to the normal routines again. Trying to keep busy to not think about the 2WW so I have sanded, stained and polyurethaned the living room floor. Tomorrow we're driving to Pittsburgh for a football game and spending the weekend together before back to school and work. By the time we get home...it'll be almost time to test! AF is due on the 5th, the day before my husband leaves. Maybe this will be a great birthday present for me (the 2nd) and he'll get to find out before he leaves! Keeping fingers crossed!

Injectibles

They are on their way! I'm excited for the chance to use them but praying that I won't have to! I'm on cd 10 today. Starting to feel the pressure consistantly now. Sadly, I think I will be ovulating from the right side :( Thats the broken side. Maybe the left side will get stronger over the next few days so that we'll have a left pop, or better yet...both. So, for now, getting ready for Christmas. Ovulation should be between Christmas and New Years. Temps are in upper 97s which is higher than normal for me. Maybe this is a good sign!!! We'll see in a couple days with the big O!!!

Last pill

Just took my last Clomid dose for this cycle. My temps are up, as expected with the Clomid. Feel so good this cycle! I usually get wretched hot flashes but this time, nothing! I don't really think I have any of the symptoms that I normally get :) Starting to get a little pinching on the left side. Feeling a bit swollen. Other than that, not noticing any thing yet. Tomorrow I start the estrogen for 5 days. Thinking, if ovulation happens when it normally would, cd 18, we might be making a Christmas baby! Trip to Pittsburgh on December 29th thru the 31st and then debating on NYC to watch the ball drop. Going to be a good month and fun end to this year. A sober end...but fun and hopefully ending with a BFP!

My December Cycle

CD1 was on the 10th. Started 150mg Clomid today. I forgot how nasty those things taste! Drinking my Red Clover tea. Taking Serra, Royal Jelly, Prenatal, Calcium and Folic Acid. I think I ought to do some of the fertility massage with the Castor Oil too...just in case. Anyway, cd 3-7 with 150mg Clomid and then cd 8-12 with 2mg Estradiol. Praying this works round one! :) Now...off to enjoy the snow!